


THAT'S A LOTTA DAMAGE

by Ink_Pots



Category: Flex Tape
Genre: Flex Tape BDSM, M/M, That's a lotta damage, This is a joke I wrote at 5 am please don't take it seriously, jokefic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 15:46:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12820788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ink_Pots/pseuds/Ink_Pots
Summary: What do you fucking want from me? Jon and Phil bang and stuff, okay?





	THAT'S A LOTTA DAMAGE

Leaves swirled in the chilly autumn air. Instead of being infused with the beauty of the earth, shaded various warm fall hues, they came to a rest on the hard, frozen earth. Once full of life, they were now reduced to brown, shriveled up carcasses of what once was. The relics of the past easily crumbled under the pressure of the weight of the man who was so similar; and just like the leaves beneath his feet, the tired man came to a rest. The bench creaked under him as he pulled the weight of his world out from his pocket. Three smiling faces gazed all too happily back into his dead eyes. It was a picture of his wife, daughter, and him. It was ironic that even though he made infomercials for repairing products, he couldn’t fix his marriage.  


His voice was low and cracked with the effort it took to speak anything at all, “That’s a lotta damage.” Tears streaked down hot cheeks as he pulled out a knife, blurring the photo before it drifted to the unforgiving dirt, much like the burnt brown objects surrounding it. “But wait, there’s more,” he barely whispered out as he raised the sharp blade to his wrists, finally putting to rest the long wreck that had been known as his life. The warmth dripping from his wrist was the only solace in this broken world. Suddenly, another man with fluffy hair and a thick beard sprang from a bush like a snake. He had witnessed everything.  


“Phil, no,” he mewled. With lightning quick thinking and reflexes, he slapped a strip of flex tape on Phil’s arm with the might of Zeus. Startled, the suicidal man jolted back with surprise. As realization flooded his awareness, a look of fragmented anger and anguish washed over his features.  


“Why? Why!?” he furiously screamed and stomped his foot, shooting himself standing upwards. His finger accusingly pointed to the soiled photograph on the ground, “That’s a lotta damage!”  


“Phil, you keep alluding to the amount of damage, but I think you just have a Rambo complex,” Jon reasoned, “Besides, wife and kid? Who needs em’ anyway? You have me, and you have Flex Seal to repair your broken heart.” Without any warning, the fluffy man glided over to close the gap between the pair. Phil could feel the other’s lip hairs teasingly graze against him before the fuzziness abruptly pulled away, replaced with a cold sensation across his eyes. The truth hit him like a truck that had been fixed with Flex Tape; his eyes had been blindfolded by Flex Tape.  


“Sorry, Phil. Had to fix those leaky eyes somehow, right?” his tone began light, but quickly evolved into something much more mischievous, “I think a few more _improvements_ are in order.” The gamer hooked his leg up behind the salesman’s back and slammed him violently into the earth. Breath ripped from his lungs, he was helpless as his arms were Flex Taped™ behind his back and cargo pants hastily removed.  


“J- Jonathan Senpai! What are you doing?” the bound man squeaked. His booty hole clenched as his boxers were forcibly stripped from his body, exposing his mushy ass flesh to a cold breeze. His bountiful ass hairs quivered and tingled in fear and from the temperature.  


“Showing you what real damage is,” the bird having guy chuckled, dipping his fingers in the can of Flex Seal he always kept in his hind pocket. Instantly, he inserted two fingered and scissored them, stretching and lubing the already moist bunghole for the main event.  


“Flex, bond, seal, and repair,” the already half hard dude bro moaned instinctually. Cheeks lit red like fire as he realized he let that slip out, ashamed but also all the more turned on.  


“Such a needy whore. I think you’re ready from the sound of things,” the Flex Tape BDSM guy muttered into his prey’s ear heartily like a chunky soup thrown up all over grandma’s new tablecloth on Thanksgiving. With that, he dipped his little Tron into the Flex Seal like the handle of a slippery hammer and got to nailin Flex Tape Daddy in the assholroni. Phil felt as the black liquid poured into him, filling his senses. It felt so good. He couldn’t help but desperately twitch and jerk into the slippery cock pounding into him, reminding him of his childhood. The pain of stupid wives and their dumb needs such as “please stop molesting the dog and flex sealing our colanders” melted away as all of his senses pooled in his groin like a cascading stream of Flex Seal. Jon pulled a whip molded from Flex Seal shit out of his b-hole and began mercilessly whipping dat sweet ass with it and promptly taping the wounds shut. It was too much. _Too much!_  


“I SAWED THIS BOAT IN HALF! YEE DOGGY!” Flex guy screamed as he thrusted into the almost as hard as him floor and came. Sticky black ropes spurted from him as he came Flex Seal. The Earth cracked in two, but thankfully the Flex Seal cummies stuck that shit right back together. Jon couldn’t hold on as he felt the asshole he was rutting in twotch. He buried himself in that booty butt to release his Candbury Creme Egg filling deep within the soul and black depths of his obedient slut. As he removed himself, black and white goo both leaked from the abused lower vagina, because all lives matter. Unfortunately, he pulled out too fast and flew into the sun. Phil went on to kill himself by injecting too much Flex Seal. Honestly, the world was a better place without those freaks. THE END. <3 kawaii desu nee


End file.
